One more cigarette to be puff, one sip of coffee to be had

Hello people, i decide to start to blog again .. so as the first step I just want to share my previous posts : this one is wrote last two years .. it is meaningful for me ... that's why i choose this as my first post :) 

 

 

What is wrong with me? What did I do? What should I do and what I shouldn’t? More and more unanswered queries emerge vigor me deeply in confusion. I have made various degree of attempt to answer these entire dilemmas. But what do I achieve in return? Did I gain anything as feedback: Nothing? Frustration, less accurate: It just impalpable! This night appears just like previous night I passed through. A good try to act like nothing has occurred, pretends to smile while this pair of eyes neglects to pursue the order. Ambivalence, it’s a novel term that I learn today. 

I keep on convincing myself it’s completely differ than what I felt, but whispered in mode of frankly heart. It is perfect. Then, those bundle of question floats again while I still visage the failure countering back to shun it to destruct the consideration of mine. It can’t be help…
One more cigarette to be puff, one sip of coffee to be hd as a loyal friend escorts this indescribable feelings. Ponder on alteration that has transpired. Was it me or them whose I utilize to christen buddies? One more question. Crap…

What a defying highway to pursue. Ain’t being help since this is what life means as a foundation on what I comprehend. The dizziness that I sink in completely rough to be deal. It’s proven I guess. How come it is not when my favorite song still not up to snuff enough to divert my feelings. What I’ve been looking for. Song is just a song perhaps. Do I need either counseling or consulting session to accomplish even a diminutive betterment or both of them? Yes, I guess.

Could anybody enlighten me this? If yes, who would he/she be? Yes I acknowledge that I could not refute it anymore. I necessitate someone to notify the pit stops as well to decipher this unmanageable stress. I am not familiar with what the feeling is or how to bring it up via precise idiom but what I do know I just don’t like it or consent to it just like this. It’s not a kind of hurt but its do painful.